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For three years we have waited for this moment and now it is denied, delayed, and destroyed."The master chuckled, "What is a few weeks of delay compared to a lifetime of love together. If that is your worst complaint archivist, then you are fine shape." You sound like my mother," Yakhir bemoaned the lack of sympathy."When do you leave?" Kevit-Nakar asked, ignoring the whining."The caravan leaves in three days." Then take some advice from an old hand. Purchase the best pair of field boots you can find and get a waterproof padded pack for your datapad. Bring your worst clothes and a decent bottle of liquor," the older man ticked off on his fingers. "Before you leave, I'll give you one of these decrypted datacubes just to keep your skills honed out there in the wilderness."Yakhir was only half listening. He was imagining Adilah pitching a fit when he told her he would be gone for three months and that all of their plans would be put on hold until he returned. He was wondering how he was. I guess that's really nothing unusual. After all, I shed tears watching that movie before. But this time it was different. Because this Christmas, I cried due to self pity. I always hated Christmas and other family holidays, but this Christmas, it was worse. I felt lonely before, but this time there seemed no hope that it would get better. I always said to myself that by the time I reached thirty, I would have a family of my own. But here I was thirty years old, the year almost over, and I was still all alone. I could no longer bear my lonely existence. The pain of seeing a happy family, on television, just added to my misery. I slowly removed the sleeping pills from the bottle, looking at each one, as if each signified another reason to end it all. Each pill told me how I was a failure. Each pill, twenty six, in all, represented a year, that I did not receive any love.It was difficult to remember ever receiving love. I guess the last time was the day my parents died in.
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